travel and rhum

I’ll be the first to say I’m unfit. I know I am. But through work I’ve had to go on several hikes in the Lake District with university students and their lecturers.

Every time, I’ve flagged behind and every time I’ve felt like no one cares. I’m not expecting like fanfare or anything, I’d rather it wasn’t mentioned, but I always felt like if I tripped of slipped no one would know for a long time. Also, they do the typical wait for me to catch up so they all had a 10 minute break and then immediately move on so I am already behind again.

Even if they notice, they don’t do anything subtle like put in a stop, or stop for a bit longer (these areas have had safe stopping points, they are hikes but suitable for uni students and uni risk assessments).

I do get there, just at my pace.

I always wonder that what if it wasn’t me, as a staff member, but a student? Would that be ok? If I wasn’t there to be the support at the back, who would be? What pace might the students feel like they have to keep with even though it might hurt them? One girl flagged behind when we were scrambling and she was apologising so much and it made me feel so sad she thought she had to say sorry for knowing her own abilities and being cautious.

For one of the hikes, I hurt my leg on the scramble down and for days after I had to limp whenever I went downstairs. I was visibly in pain. Then the academic asked me the day after I did it if I would support him again! I was made to feel guilty for saying no because I knew I couldn’t do it.

But yeah, this is a bit of rant but also wondering if this is something others have experienced too? Or have an opinion of on the other side? For context, I mentioned several times I was not fit and it was taken almost as a joke.